Proper MLA Citation for Baseball Cards

Throughout my iluustrious academic career, I was told time and again by professors that Wikipedia is not an academic resource. That's bullshit, they just want us to work hard like they did, scanning card catalogs and microfiche for hours on end. Fuck that. They don't like that Wikipedia is an economy of effort and information. It's hassle and anxiety reduced to pill form. Wikipedia is a wonderful source of knowledge and fact, compiled from academic resources and legitimate websites. As we all know, part of creating something is properly citing your sources. The MLA website features citation formats for books of one or multiple authors, journals, broadcast interviews, and websites. However, academia in all it's glory has neglected to include the proper citation format for baseball cards. Is there a more academic resource than baseball cards? The information they provide is for the most part statistical, along wth tidbits of the players personal life, birthday and birthplace, and some trivia perhaps. Although, at times baseball cards do come with opinionated claims like "future star", "all-time great", and "the future is now". Anyway, the proper MLA citation for a baseball card:

There is no underline feature on this blog thing, but the brand and year should be underlined.

Player last name, first name. Brand, year. Sport. Set (common, insert, etc.), card number.

example:

Lind, Jose. Donruss, 1989. Baseball. Common, 290.

In-text paranthetical citation:

(Sport year brand #)

Abbreviations are to be used to keep the citation size down. No cheating and spelling out every little word so you can expand your shoddy writing. This citation method is an academic tool.
Sport Abbreviations:

Baseball = BB
Football = FB
Basketball = BK
Hockey = HK

example of in text citation:
In 1988, Jose Lind had 611 at-bats for the Pittsburgh Pirates, hitting for a .262 average (BB '89 Donruss 290).

Another thing, baseball cards encompasses all sports cards. There are no such things as basketball cards or hockey cards. They are simply baseball cards featuring another sport. All sports cards are baseball cards.

example of an INCORRECT statement:

Dude, what is my Wayne Gretzky hockey card worth?

example of correct statement:

Dude, check out my Rod Brind'Amour baseball cards.

Baseball cards are now an academic resource, as is wikipedia. Thanks.

Kurt Abbott

This is the reverse side of Kurt Abbott's 1993 Upper Deck Collector's Choice. Collector's Fuckin Choice baby! Look at that ugly-ass finish he has, there is no way he got a knock there. Clearly he's lunging at something. If I'm Kurt Abbott, I am pissed about this crappy picture. Man worked his entire life to get to Major League Baseball and they show way out in front of something. Wikipedia facts: Kurt Abbott now works as a Martin County Sherrifs Deputy in Martin County Florida.

Leon Durham

The trivial Wikipedia facts on Leon Durham are delicious. However, why the fuck have I owned this baseball card since roughly 1988? Because Leon Durham had a supporting role as Leon Alexander, a member of the Minnesota Twins, in the film Little Big League. Durham appears briefly in the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off. He is the first baseman in the sequence where Braves outfielder Claudell Washington hits a foul ball caught by the titular character.

I couldn't also help look up the word titular.

adjective
1.
existing or being such in title only; nominal; having the title but none of the associated duties, powers, etc.: the titular head of the company.
2.
from whom or which a title or name is taken: His titular Saint is Michael.
3.
of, pertaining to, or of the nature of a title.
4.
having a title, esp. of rank.
5.
designating any of the Roman Catholic churches in Rome whose nominal incumbents are cardinals.

Vincent Askew

This guy's wikipedia is just too good. This man is aptly named Vincent Askew. AKA: Vincent Astray, Amiss, Deformed, Uneven, Unshapely, and Wrong. Without further ado, here is all you need to know about Vincent Wrong: Askew played in nine NBA seasons for eight different teams.

Rance Mulliniks

Gotta love the 1990 Donruss with the red paint-blotched border. Featured is Texas native Rance Mulliniks in his rifle range safety glasses. Wiki facts on Rance Mulliniks: In 1984 he was named to Sports Illustrated's Dream Team as a utility infielder. A fielding play where Mulliniks missed the ball was once described as "Rance does a dance, but no chance."

Don Aase

Don Aase. aka Don Ass. This 1988 Topps card displays the 80's stache at its best. This card has no value. None. There is actually a lot of Don Aase crap for sale on ebay if anyone is interested. Wiki Facts on Don Aase: In spite of his name starting with two "A"s, he is only fourth in the major league alphabetical list, after David Aardsma, Hank Aaron, and Tommie Aaron.

Mike "King" Kelly

King Kelly. Any baseball fan worth a damn has at least heard of this guy. As a kid I was enamored with this man. Some say Babe Ruth was the first "superstar", but King Kelly was the man of the late 19th century. He played so long ago!!! His father fought for the Union in the civil war. Kelly's Wikipedia is a fucking goldmine: He is also often credited with popularizing various strategies as a player such as the hit and run, the hook slide, and the catcher's practice of backing up first base. When Mike was born, he almost died of a heart failure. Kelly was now a young, good-looking man in the big city with money in his pocket. Rather than buying a house, he immediately moved into the Palmer House, the loudest, brashest, most garish and, according to its literature, "fire-proof" hotel in the world. He was rarely seen without his pet monkey on his shoulder and his Japanese valet at his side and he opened a saloon with some drinking buddies. Since then-current rules allowed for player substitution at any time, he leapt off the bench, yelled "Kelly now catching for Boston," and caught the ball for out number three. This prompted a rule change to the effect that substitutions could only be made during timeouts.[1] Kelly is also considered to have been the first man to popularize autographing, as fans pursued him on his way to the ballpark for his signature in the 1890s. Baseball games had only a single umpire at the time, and Kelly would watch the umpire to see if he was watching the play at first base or looking to see if a ball landed fair or foul. When convinced the umpire's back was turned, Kelly would immediately run across the diamond to the next base, skipping either second or third, in full view of thousands of fans. Kelly was legendary for trying to subvert the rules in many other ways. As an infielder, he would occasionally intentionally trip baserunners and drop easy fly balls to convert double plays. Playing right field one day in an extra-inning game with darkness approaching, he made an apparent spectacular grab of a line shot over his head. When the umpire called the game on account of darkness, Kelly was asked by his teammates how far that ball had traveled. "How would I know?" Kelly answered. That ball was three feet over my head." Kelly had pulled a spare ball out of his uniform and only pretended to make the catch.

Matt Whiteside

Never heard of Matt Whiteside, yet I have owned his baseball card since 1994, and I kept it in excellent condition. Why??? Here's why: On July 15, 2005, Whiteside was suspended for 15 games for violating minor league baseball's steroid policy. In 1996, he served as a guest judge at the Miss USA Pageant.

I apologize to nobody for keeping my baseball cards!!!

Ron Gant

Ron Gant. What can I say about Ron Gant? Had a few decent roid-fueled seasons. This 1992 O-Pee-Chee features Gant prominently. However, before allowing all my Ron Gant crap to take up space in my room, I should've checked Wikipedia: Shortly after signing one of the richest contracts in Braves history in 1994, Gant broke his right leg in an ATV accident. The Braves ended up releasing him; He wouldn't play again until 1995. Former teammate Paul Assenmacher described Gant as "too self-absorbed" to become a standout player. He is one of three batters that Goose Gossage has admitted to hitting intentionally.[1]

Kirby Puckett and Bo Jackson...ON THE SAME FUCKING CARD!!!!!

How this gem has no monetary value is beyond me. Its a candid of 2 of the most prominent athletes of the late 80's early 90's. Wiki fact on Kirby Puckett: One of Puckett's companions of many years commented once that when Puckett could not play baseball anymore, "He started to become full of himself and very abusive." His weight ballooned to more than 350 pounds and he was alleged to have begun to perform lewd acts in public, such as masturbating in the parking lot of a shopping center in plain view of other people. Wiki fact on Bo Jackson: he also played football.

Gerald Young

Here is Gerald Young's 1991 Score card. Wiki fact: In January 1995, Young was charged with cocaine possession when Houston Police Department officers found a crack pipe with cocaine residue in the vehicle that he was driving. He would never play major league baseball again. Glad I held onto this one.

Rob Murphy

This is Rob Murphy. Not a bad career. This card has no value. 1992 Score no. 492., no ebay sale record. Wiki fact: Pitching for the Houston Astros in 1991, Murphy sets what is believed to be a major league record by appearing in his 121st straight game without a win. Before him, reliever Tom Henke had pitched in 120 consecutive winless games between 1986 and 1988

Worthless Wikipedia Facts on Worthless Sports Cards

This is something new I am going to try. I was cleaning out my room today, and I am finally getting rid of my utterly worthless baseball cards that clutter my closet space. As a child, I figured one day these cards would be my meal ticket to a lavish early retirement. This has not proved to be the case. But thats OK, baseball cards are supposed to be fun. Its not about the money. I will start writing posts again in the near future, but in the meantime, I will be making baseball cards fun again. I will attach photos of worthless baseball cards, along with chuckle-worthy wikipedia facts on the professional athlete on the face. This concept is inspired by the creative geniuses from joesportsfan.com.
As a young lad, I collected baseball cards and other sports memorbilia because it brought me happiness. I enjoyed reading the facts on these guys, trading cards with my boys, and taking good care of them. Pardon me for sounding like everyone's grandfather but kids today don't get baseball cards. They're too busy texting, ipoding, and twittering or whatever weak and worthless activity that they take part in.
Anyway, enjoy the posts.