Sports Fans

Passionate, loyal, rabid. These are some words to describe Philadelphia sports fans. Apparently, every single person living in the Delaware Valley is a lifelong devotee of all 4 major sports teams in Philly. And you can tell this is true by the Mitchell and Ness jerseys everyone poses in at the local bars. Philadelphia sports fans are no more or less special than the sports fans of every other city. From 1994-2005 the Phillies ranged from dismal to painfully mediocre, so it's understandable why the Vet was a ghost stadium with the exception of fireworks night. However, don't tell me you've been with this team since you were 8 because you think you followed the 93 team and because you went to a game or two here and there with your little league team. The average asshole in a throwback hat or jersey they bought after the 07 NL East div crown doesn't know Robert Person from Carlton Loewer. Or Travis Lee (who was granted released by the Wash Nats in 07 because of his "lack of desire to play the game") from Mark Lewis. Run on sentences are my style, deal with it.
Philadelphia is not an exception to the bandwagon phenomenon. They're in every city, for every team, and they are loud, stupid, and obnoxious. Just please stop. You're the same dickheads that flipped cars and burned stuff after the World Series win. Don't take my teams success as an excuse to fuck shit up. How dare you attempt to associate yourself with me. I wore a Scott Rolen t-shirt jersey to school in 7th and 8th grade (1998-2000) and got ridiculed (yes, I was a loser). This column is for every loyal Phillies fan or fan of any team that has had to endure poser fans.
The telltale signs of a poser fan:
1. is female
2. wearing a throwback to make it look like they've been fan since Chuck Bednarik was an Eagle, even though the jerkoff wearing the jersey is 22 years old
3. tattered hat
4. NL east or NL champion shirt/hat

5 you have facebook pictures of yourself at the parade, wearing your Phillies gear with tags still on it
6 you have facebook pics of yourself at games, holding your miller lite
7 you wear a green Phillies/Flyers/whatever jersey or a pink eagles jersey, stop trying to be different, we don't give a fuck if you're irish, italian or whatever
8 you get kicked out of the stadium for being a drunken asshole
9 your hat has a world series logo, has a straight brim, and still has the new era logo sticker on it
10you attend or graduated from Villanova university

I'm tired of writing this. You get my point.